French Etiquette: The Unwritten Rules Every Visitor to France Must Know

France has some of the most specific social rules in the world. Get them right, and locals will warm to you instantly. Get them wrong, and you may find doors quietly closing. These French etiquette rules are rarely written down. But every French person knows them by heart.

This guide covers the most important customs. From greetings to dining, shopping to table manners, you will feel far more confident once you understand how France works socially.

Always Say Bonjour First

The bonjour rule is the most important of all French etiquette rules. You must greet people before you do anything else. Walk into a shop and say bonjour to the staff. Enter a lift and greet whoever is inside. Sit down at a café and greet your waiter first.

Skipping this step marks you as rude. The French do not jump straight into a transaction. Acknowledgement comes first. It signals that you see the other person as a human being, not just a service provider.

Use bonjour during the day and bonsoir from around 6 pm onwards. When you leave, say au revoir and thank the staff. These small gestures carry real weight in France.

La Bise: The French Greeting Kiss

La bise is the cheek-to-cheek greeting that baffles most visitors. It is not a kiss on the lips. It is a light brush of cheeks, one side then the other, with a gentle air-kiss sound. The number of cheek touches varies by region. Two is most common in Paris. Three is normal in the south. Four occurs in some parts of France.

La bise happens between women, between a woman and a man, and between close male friends. Men who do not know each other well shake hands instead. Among young people, the rules are more relaxed.

Do not overthink it. Follow the lead of the French person. If they lean in for la bise, mirror them. If they extend a hand, shake it firmly.

Vous or Tu? The Formality Question

French has two words for “you”. Vous is formal and shows respect. Tu is informal and shows closeness. Use the wrong one and you will cause offence in either direction.

The rule is simple. Use vous with anyone you do not know well, anyone older than you, anyone in a professional role, and staff in shops and restaurants. Switch to tu only when the other person invites you. They may say on peut se tutoyer — “we can use tu with each other”.

As a visitor, stick to vous until told otherwise. The French appreciate the effort far more than you might expect.

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French Etiquette Rules for Dining

Dining in France is a ritual. Meals are slow, social and sacred. Understanding the rules at the table will transform your experience.

Bread goes directly on the tablecloth, not on your side plate. Tear it with your hands. Never cut bread with a knife. Use bread to push food onto your fork. Keep your hands visible above the table throughout the meal.

Do not start eating until your host says bon appétit. Wait for this cue before picking up your cutlery.

Wine is poured for guests, not by guests. Wait for your host to fill your glass. Refilling your own glass without first offering to others is considered poor form.

Hold the fork in your left hand and the knife in your right throughout the meal. The French do not switch utensils between hands.

If you want to understand this culture more deeply, read about the French apéritif tradition and the social rituals that surround it.

How to Behave in a French Restaurant

French restaurants follow a slower rhythm than most visitors expect. This is not bad service. It is the correct pace.

Do not call the waiter by clapping or clicking your fingers. Catch their eye and raise your hand slightly. Or say excusez-moi in a calm voice. Raising your voice to attract attention is very poor form.

Do not ask for the bill until you are truly ready to leave. When you are ready, catch the waiter’s eye and mime signing something in the air.

Tipping is not expected in France. Service is included in the price by law. Leaving a euro or two is a genuine compliment. It is never an obligation. Never tip out of pure habit.

Never ask for changes to a dish. French chefs take pride in their recipes. Requesting changes is considered an insult to the kitchen. Only ask if you have an allergy — and phrase it politely.

Shopping Etiquette in France

Shopping in France, especially in small independent shops, has its own code. Follow it and staff will welcome you. Ignore it and they will be cool at best.

Always greet the shopkeeper the moment you walk in. A clear bonjour at the door is non-negotiable. In a boulangerie, not saying bonjour is deeply rude. The baker notices. Other customers notice too.

In a market or a cheese shop, do not touch the produce unless invited to. Point to what you want and let the vendor handle it. This is especially true in a fromagerie, where the vendor takes pride in selecting the right piece for you. Learn more about France’s extraordinary cheese culture to prepare yourself for these moments.

Bargaining is not done in regular French shops. Prices are fixed. Only at flea markets (marchés aux puces) or antique fairs is a gentle negotiation acceptable.

Visiting a French Home

Being invited to a French home is a real honour. Take it seriously.

Bring a gift. Wine is always fine, but do not expect it to appear at dinner. Your host may save it for another occasion. Flowers work well — but avoid chrysanthemums (linked with funerals) and red roses (too romantic for most settings). A box of good chocolates or a small cake from a patisserie is always welcome.

Arrive on time. Do not arrive early. Being five minutes late is more acceptable than arriving before the stated hour, which puts pressure on your host.

Compliment the meal. Ask about the recipe. Show genuine curiosity. The French cook to express love and skill. Acknowledging this matters greatly.

When you leave, thank your host warmly. Follow up the next day with a message or a short note. This is considered good manners throughout France.

Always Try French First

This is perhaps the most underestimated rule. Make an effort to speak French, even if your French is poor. The French do not expect perfection from visitors. They do expect the attempt.

Start every conversation with bonjour and then try your French. If the person responds in English, follow their lead. But never open in English without trying French first. This signals respect. The French respond very warmly when they see the effort.

Even five phrases will make a difference: s’il vous plaît (please), merci (thank you), excusez-moi (excuse me), je ne comprends pas (I don’t understand), and parlez-vous anglais? (do you speak English?)

French Public Behaviour

The French are not unfriendly. They value privacy and discretion in public spaces.

Avoid speaking loudly in restaurants, on the Métro or on the street. In Paris especially, a calm, measured tone is the norm. A very loud conversation marks you as a tourist immediately.

Do not take photos of people without asking. The French take personal privacy seriously. If you want to photograph someone at a market or a café, ask first. Most people will say yes if you ask politely.

Queue properly. The French do form queues, even if the system looks less rigid than in the UK. Cutting in front of people is very rude. Wait your turn.

Sundays bring a slower pace across France. Many shops close. Understanding how the French spend Sunday will help you plan your time and avoid frustration.

French Café Etiquette

A French café is not a place to rush through. It is a place to sit, think, observe and connect. Order something and take your time. No one will rush you out.

Order at the counter to pay less. Table service costs more in many French cafés. This is normal and widely accepted.

Coffee in France is short and strong. A café is an espresso. A café allongé is a longer black coffee. A café crème is the closest to a white coffee. Do not ask for milky coffee after noon — the French consider this a morning habit only.

Read more about French café culture and why it defines daily life across the country.

Plan Your Trip to France

Understanding these customs will make your time in France far richer. The French reward curiosity and genuine effort. They do not expect perfection. They expect respect.

If you are planning your first visit, our complete France travel planning guide will help you get every detail right — from regions to visit to the best time to go.

Frequently Asked Questions About French Etiquette

Do you have to say bonjour every time you enter a shop in France?

Yes. Greeting the shopkeeper with bonjour when you enter is a basic social expectation in France. Skipping it is considered rude. Always greet first, then ask for what you need.

Is it rude to speak English in France without trying French first?

Many French people find it impolite when visitors open a conversation in English without trying French first. Even a simple bonjour and a few words shows respect. Most French people will then switch to English happily once they see the effort.

When is la bise used in France?

La bise is used when greeting friends, family and acquaintances. The number of cheek brushes varies by region — usually two in Paris, three in parts of the south. Men typically shake hands unless they know each other well. Follow the other person’s lead if you are unsure.

Should you tip in French restaurants?

Tipping is not required in France. Service is legally included in all restaurant prices. Leaving a small amount — a euro or two — is a genuine gesture of appreciation. It is never an obligation, and you should not tip out of habit alone.

What gift should I bring when visiting a French home?

A box of good chocolates or a small cake from a local patisserie is always a safe and welcome gift. Wine works well too, though your host may not open it on the night. Avoid chrysanthemums and red roses — both carry specific meanings in France that may not suit the occasion.

You Might Also Enjoy

• The Art of the French Apéritif: How France Drinks Before Dinner
• French Café Culture: Why the French Never Eat at Their Desks
• How the French Spend Sunday: A National Ritual

Plan Your France Trip: Our complete France travel planning guide covers every step — from choosing your regions to knowing what to expect when you arrive.